Listening is not a technique.
It is a way of being.
Communication means to make common. Its Latin root reminds us: to commune, to share, to hold something together. Listening is the act that makes this real. It is not about taking in information. It is about being with another human being in a way that allows meaning to emerge.
The Foundations of Presence
Martin Buber said there are two ways of relating: I It and I Thou.
I It is when we treat the other as an object. Useful, but limited.
I Thou is when we recognise the whole person before us. This changes everything. Listening at its best is I Thou. It is encounter. It alters both speaker and listener.
Carl Rogers brought this into practice. He showed that empathy, congruence, and unconditional positive regard create a field where people feel seen and understood. This is not soft psychology. It is the ground of real communication. Today neuroscience shows why. When people connect, their brains literally couple. Activity synchronises and predicts how well they understand each other (Stephens et al., 2010). Even heart rates and breathing patterns align. Presence is physiological, not just poetic.
Alfred Schutz called this the we relation. It is what happens when we are not just observing one another but inhabiting shared time together. In leadership, this kind of presence builds trust, belonging, and alignment.
Presence in Leadership
Leaders are often rewarded for talking.
But it is their presence in listening that shapes the culture around them.
Amy Edmondson’s research on psychological safety shows that teams perform better when they feel it is safe to speak. Safety is not declared, it is experienced. It comes through the presence of a leader who is with their people, attentive, curious, and open.
Edgar Schein described this as Humble Inquiry. Genuine questions. Questions where the answer is not already known. Questions that invite people into a shared space. This is presence in action.
Power makes this harder. Studies show that power reduces perspective taking (Galinsky et al., 2006). The more authority you carry, the more intentional you must be to listen. Presence is the antidote to the narrowing effects of leadership status.
Integral and Developmental Perspectives
Integral theory teaches us that reality has four lenses: I, We, It, and Its.
The I is your own inner awareness, your feelings, biases, and attention.
The We is the shared culture and meaning you co create.
The It is what you do, the behaviours of listening.
The Its are the systems that either enable or block this listening.
Most leadership training gets stuck in the It, behaviours like nodding, paraphrasing, making eye contact. These surface actions are necessary, but not sufficient. Emulating behaviours alone does not create the felt sense of being together, which is fundamental to communication and listening. Deeper listening requires all four lenses.
Late stage development brings this alive. At Strategist or Alchemist levels, leaders do not only listen for content. They listen to the field. They sense patterns in silence, energy, and potential futures. Otto Scharmer calls this “listening from the emerging future.” It is a higher order of attention where presence itself becomes generative.
The Four Fields of Presence
Presence can be practised.
Here are four fields to work with:
- Self Presence
Notice yourself first. Your body. Your breathing. Your emotions and assumptions. If you are not present to yourself, you cannot be present to others. Research in mindfulness shows this increases empathic accuracy and reduces bias. - Other Presence
Tune into the person before you. Their words, but also their tone, pauses, and energy. Check what you sense: “It sounds like you are frustrated. Is that right?” High quality listening reduces defensiveness and helps the other person gain self insight. - Group Presence
Listen to the room. Who is holding back? Who dominates? Where is the silence heavy? Equalising voices and protecting space for the quiet to emerge is one of the greatest acts of leadership. Teams with balanced turn taking and social sensitivity perform better across the board. - Field Presence
This is listening to the whole. The emerging future. The patterns not yet spoken. Pause before decisions. Name what is at stake for all. Ask: “What is wanting to happen here?” This is where late stage leaders operate, beyond transaction, into generative possibility.
Outcomes of Presence
Presence is not abstract.
It has measurable impact.
Decision quality improves when groups are synchronised (Woolley et al., 2010; Konvalinka et al., 2011). When teams are attuned to each other, they make fewer errors and coordinate more effectively. As Woolley et al. (2010) observed, “collective intelligence emerges not from individual IQ but from group interaction patterns.” Konvalinka et al. (2011) further demonstrated that physiological synchrony during shared tasks predicted better group coordination.
Engagement and retention rise when employees feel heard (Weger et al., 2014; Kluger & Itzchakov, 2022). Employees who perceive listening report stronger commitment and are more willing to contribute. Weger et al. (2014) concluded that “perceived listening quality significantly increased relational satisfaction,” while Kluger and Itzchakov (2022) found that listening interventions improved both employee motivation and performance.
Innovation emerges when diverse voices are invited and integrated (Edmondson, 1999; Uhl-Bien & Marion, 2009). Cultures that invite open contribution produce more learning behaviours and adaptive responses. Edmondson (1999) noted that “psychological safety is a shared belief that the team is safe for interpersonal risk taking,” which is foundational for innovation. Uhl-Bien and Marion (2009) added that adaptive leadership arises from engaging diverse voices to generate creative solutions in complex systems.
Conflict resolution becomes faster and more durable when the mediator is truly present (Moore, 2014; Rogers & Farson, 1957). Presence reduces defensiveness and helps parties co create meaning. Moore (2014) emphasised that “listening with empathy and neutrality is critical to successful mediation,” while Rogers and Farson (1957) described active listening as a way to “bring about changes in people’s attitudes toward themselves and others.”
Listening as presence is not soft leadership. It is strategic advantage.
Practices for Leaders
Begin with a moment of silence or a shared check in.
Ask questions you cannot answer yourself.
Track who is speaking, and who is not.
Leave space before you respond.
End with a question: “What have we made common today?”
These are not techniques. They are ways of being with.
Conclusion
Listening as presence changes communication from transaction to communion. It is not about collecting words or waiting to reply. It is about creating a shared field where trust, alignment, and new futures can appear.
The challenge is simple, but not easy.
Can you suspend your own narrative long enough to meet the other in the space between you?
When you do, listening becomes a generative act. It becomes the quiet foundation of transformational leadership.
Peer-Reviewed Studies
- Stephens, G. J., Silbert, L. J., & Hasson, U. (2010). Speaker–listener neural coupling underlies successful communication. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 107(32), 14425–14430.
- Konvalinka, I., Xygalatas, D., Bulbulia, J., Schjødt, U., Jegindø, E. M., Wallot, S., … & Roepstorff, A. (2011). Synchronized arousal between performers and related spectators in a fire-walking ritual. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 108(20), 8514–8519.
- Woolley, A. W., Chabris, C. F., Pentland, A., Hashmi, N., & Malone, T. W. (2010). Evidence for a collective intelligence factor in the performance of human groups. Science, 330(6004), 686–688.
- Weger, H., Castle, G. R., & Emmett, M. C. (2014). Active listening in initial interactions. International Journal of Listening, 28(1), 13–31.
- Kluger, A. N., & Itzchakov, G. (2022). The power of listening at work. Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior, 9, 121–146.
- Edmondson, A. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383.
- Galinsky, A. D., Magee, J. C., Inesi, M. E., & Gruenfeld, D. H. (2006). Power and perspectives not taken. Psychological Science, 17(12), 1068–1074.
Books and Established Sources
- Rogers, C. (1951). Client-centered therapy: Its current practice, implications, and theory. Houghton Mifflin.
- Rogers, C. R., & Farson, R. E. (1957). Active listening. Industrial Relations Center, University of Chicago.
- Schein, E. H. (2013, 2nd ed. 2021). Humble inquiry: The gentle art of asking instead of telling. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
- Moore, C. W. (2014). The mediation process: Practical strategies for resolving conflict (4th ed.). Jossey-Bass.
- Scharmer, C. O. (2009, updated 2016). Theory U: Leading from the future as it emerges. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
Conceptual and Theoretical Frameworks
- Buber, M. (1923/1937). I and Thou. T. & T. Clark.
- Schutz, A. (1932/1967). The phenomenology of the social world. Northwestern University Press.
- Wilber, K. (2000). A theory of everything: An integral vision for business, politics, science, and spirituality. Shambhala Publications.
- Cook-Greuter, S. R. (1999). Postautonomous ego development: A study of its nature and measurement (Doctoral dissertation, Harvard University).
- Kegan, R. (1982). The evolving self: Problem and process in human development. Harvard University Press.
- O’Fallon, T. (2011). STAGES: Growing up is waking up. Pacific Integral.
- Uhl-Bien, M., & Marion, R. (2009). Complexity leadership in bureaucratic forms of organizing: A meso model. The Leadership Quarterly, 20(4), 631–650.